About Me

things ive heard people say in class:

cafetivity:

  • “what if i just straight up break down in class and scare the shit out of ms neo so that she’ll postpone the test?”
  • “is it too early if i have a breakdown in january?” “its the second week, man.” “i know.” 
  • “let’s all just collectively skip the national exams, fuck the system!” *aggressive cheering*
  • in a really choked up voice, “i have rights.”
  • “what if i become a monk? do monks have to take exams?”
  • “in this context, what does ‘rapid’ mean?” “FAST AND FURIOUS”
  • “did y’all do the chem homework?” *collective ‘no’s* “alright, good. nobody be a wimp and do their homework, alright? if we’re fucked, we’re all fucked together.”
  • “wait, you mean to say that this school still teach fun stuff like music??
  • *scandalised gasp* “you stole my circle template’s virginity!” “all i did was hook a finger through one of the holes!” “exactly!” 
  • “i bought this $2 knee guard just because i want to pretend that i’m injured so that i can sit out of PE.” [slides knee guard on] “i have three consecutive tests after this and lord knows i need all the extra study time that i can get.”
  • in an increasingly panicked voice, “i can’t just do my lit homework in 30mins!” “well, i did.” “what did you put for characterisation and further analysis?” “i said the protagonist was a fuckboy, and then proceeded to write 3 paragraphs and a conclusion consisting of utter bullshit on why he’s a fuckboy.”
  • “don’t they call people from Germany, germanese?” said by a top student.
  • “i think i’m a hermaphrodite.”
  • “fuck, i hate this. can i just be an escort? or have like 67 sugar daddies?”
  • in the middle of physics class: “i’m leaving, i’m fucking leaving. i’m going down to the canteen to buy takeouts of 3 fishball noodles. y’all want anything?”
  • “i want the saddest pepe the frog meme you can find as our class logo.”
  • “i found a salsa dip in my bag, anyone have some chips?” [a girl sighs, puts down her calculator and reaches into her sports bag] “i do.”
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capillaries:

plot twist: the introverted character who doesn’t like big social gatherings or speaking in front of people is still an introvert by the end of the story because introversion is not a character flaw and it doesn’t need to be overcome 

thehobbutts:
“thehobbutts:
“ thehobbutts:
“ thehobbutts:
“ there was a dog at the top of the hill so i zoomed in on it with my camera
”
she is beautiful by the way
”
i am told that her name is dixie and i am going to try to pet her
more updates to...

tntkaboomsky:

porygons:

twelvetrillionbees:

cloudruler:

aztechnology:

slimshaytan:

guys dwayne the rock johnson released a motivational alarm clock app called the rock clock. dwayne the rock johnson will wake you up with inspirational videos and messages. all he wants is 4 u to achieve ur goals

I GOOGLED IT’S REAL AND NOW I’M A BELIEVER

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but what if in the rock’s time zone it’s 6am but in my time zone it’s fucking 2am 

YOU WAKE WHEN THE ROCK WAKES

GASP

kripke-is-my-king:

My boyfriend forgot his sleep pants so he’s wearing a pair of mine and he keeps getting annoyed that there’s no pockets

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i-cando-zat:
“ artpolice:
“
”
Fun fact! When you get in higher levels of competitive swimming (even in, like, high school, sometimes) two swim caps are really important! The bottom cap keeps hair out of the way, but it gets rumpled, and that creates...

jourdehn:

lianabrooks:

bryarly:

sexhaver:

i knew a dude in college who kept an old Smirnoff bottle full of water on his desk and would casually chug straight out of it in the middle of conversations with new people in order to establish dominance

New plan

I knew girls in high school who casually kept water bottles filled with Smirnoff at their desks and drank them during class in order to survive the American school system. 

New plan

Just know, if we’re “talking” I’m stalking🔭🔎🔦

prettyboyshyflizzy:

bxtchrelax:

🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

That’s why u don’t give her your real name for the first 3 months

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
“HE DID THAT
”